I appreciate my client base is a very specific one, and for good reason. I have been in the fitness and health industry for the past 15+ years, with my initial steps into 'fitness' being one of a ill-educated, unhealthy introduction. I used exercise and food as a way to punish myself, feel accepted amongst friends and seek control and inner self worth...guess what, none of that happened and I ended up with a combination of anorexia, bulimia and excessive exercise disorder. Through this my bones began to be brittle, breaking my foot - taking away the freedom and secretive nature of the disorders I had been hiding away in, through my 'independent personality'. Luckily my university degree allowed me to uncover more about the disorders I had begun to acknowledge I had, collecting and analysing past research papers to understand it's complexities. 'I'm cured' I thought as I handed in the finished copy....
Over the next 12 months, my world was turned upside down, I left my toxic engagement 6 months before the planned wedding date, escaped the house we lived in, started fresh in a new city and new job - allowing my world to go a little wild. After a period of time I realised how I had let my body down in opposite sense of the word - malnourished through takeaway food for comfort, numbing my pain and loneliness through alcohol most weekends and into the week nights. Many stupid mistakes were made seeking attention from men, only feeling worthy when I felt they wanted me, when they didn't I would beat myself up and starve for the weekend/week always having a fluctuating relationship with food and the gym. Eventually through a new circle of friends I got myself back into a routine of fitness and some stability of my food intake - I wanted a new target to focus my sights on as I trained but for no real purpose and at that time Andrea Brazier (WBFF Pro) was a common sight on Instagram...that was the look I wanted, I knew I couldn't achieve and maintain the size 8 skinny look, damn had I tried! But this could be something maintainable right?? So the quest began, my journey over 6 years now into competitive body building, coming into the sport initially with the wrong mindset, an incorrect outlook on the maintainability of such a 'look', but deepening and enhancing my self awareness every single day/week/month/year! It hasn't been easy, after my first season it nearly all ended as I didn't step foot into competing in the right way - but that Is why I know I have a story and a proof worthy transformation myself. I have been at the epicentre of ED chaos and now feel I am in a place where I can help others with their mindset around training, food and the psychological considerations that are required for a champion mindset.
I have competed 4 seasons of the 6 years taking a few mini breaks, this year being the period of time where I myself maintained having a coach into my off-season and building my relationship with nourishing my body in the right way when needed before the prep period begins. Off season and prep have different mind and body considerations to take into account and in order to ensure the healthiest approach for your well being is taken, having a coach not only for the calorie deficit period of your prep for year round emotional and mindset support is an honest game changer. This year alone (and it's only June!) I have invested over £10k+ into my own development - someone there to speed up my learning, hold me accountable, challenge my beliefs and way of thinking about so many things I hold in head as 'truth's'. As with anyone who diets - we know there will always be those periods of falling off the wagon, self sabotage, but when for the sport - then add in the potential for binge eating during and post prep, self comparison, heavy self doubt and impacting thoughts of worthiness all compounding to the day you 'hope' to step on stage if you get that far ... You have to know WHY!!! At every step of the way - WHY??? And that is where I come in.... to build a body you first need to build the mind! It is not to be underestimated!
- Become your own Supreme Minority -