It’s common for us all to feel the pressures of being a woman on a regular basis, especially with what we see in the media- make up on point, hair done, legs and lady garden shaved, nails polished, perfect eyebrows etc
Not to mention how we feel we should look- blonde hair, big boobs, pert arse, hourglass figure, be sexy- there is so bloody much!!
What a way to make us feel totally inadequate!
Well FUCK THAT!!
I used to allow ‘Susan’ in the school playground and ‘Barbara’ at work to get to me and make me feel less of a woman then they were because I didn’t look pristine or practically perfect in every way (I’m not Mary Poppins and can’t pretend to be lol). Or the girls in the gym with perfect make up and leaving the gym looking as though they had just arrived, whereas I leave looking like a beetroot and smelling like I had not washed for four days……
Until one day I realised that this wasn’t about them, it was about me and how I didn’t need to conform to societal pressures of being a certain way and I certainly did not need to put these pressures on myself and neither do you! I think the older I have become and since having a child, this has made this easier for me, as I’d rather use my money to invest in my family and secure a better future for them. My priorities changed as well as my mindset.
I don’t wear makeup all the time and I only wear mascara on special occasions because I barely have time as it is, to walk my dog and get my six year old son ready and to school on time, whilst ensuring I start work on time and not turning up wearing my slippers, and yes this has happened before. This is one of the reasons I love having short hair, it’s quick and easy to maintain and I like to be different. In the past I used to think having short hair would make you look manly and for years I wanted to have short hair and never had my hair cut short, I mean how stupid is that?
I often wear baggy T shirts, sweat pants and i'll shave my legs when I remember. I don’t have pert boobs (these fell south after having a child and breastfeeding ) and I don’t have lip fillers . No offence to those who do, how we look is personal choice and should always be that- a CHOICE.
We shouldn’t feel pressure to feel like we need to “make an effort” as a woman or look a certain way. How boring would it be if we all looked the same?
This worries me, especially for our younger generation and their mental health. As a mental health nurse I am seeing more and more young girls with self-esteem and confidence issues, eating disorders, body dysmorphic disorders, the list goes on.
I am also finding that young males are developing an unrealistic view of how women should look. Not very good in my opinion and needs to change pronto!!
It should never be about effort.
It’s about being happy as you are and being who you want to be! YOU DO YOU!
We need to remember to not let society’s expectations or other people’s expectations leave us feeling inadequate.
You are not inadequate, you are an amazing woman for God sake and in my opinion without us women, society would crumble. Let’s have more of an appreciation for ourselves!
It’s ok to feel the pressure every once in a while, I do, but we need to remember the media deliberately try and make us feel this way so we spend our money chasing some ‘false ideal’.
Sometimes we just need reassurance once in a while. My partner prefers me with no makeup on and often says I look my most beautiful first thing in the morning when I wake. And that suits me because I feel no pressure to look a certain way and most men I know prefer women with less makeup and women who can just be themselves!
So what can you do to help yourself feel the pressure less?
⦁ If your strong willed and confident, then tell the likes of ‘Susan’ and ‘Barbara’ to jog on and don’t you conform. You be your own unique strong ass woman!
⦁ Tell yourself everyday three things you like about yourself, write them down and stick them on your mirror! What are the qualities you like about yourself?
⦁ Spend time reflecting on who you are and who you want to be. Don’t lose your identity in trying to look like everyone else or in how society expects women to be.
⦁ Spend some time away from social media. Delete various social media platforms for a while and use that time to invest in building your self-esteem and confidence.
⦁ Remove or unfollow people on social media platforms who make you feel inadequate or less of a woman then what you actually are.
⦁ And if you want to wear your Bridget Jones pants most days, then you bloody well wear them and feel good about it!
— Become your own Supreme Minority –
PS- for those that are interested the photo above was taken of me a few weeks ago after my evening skin care regime, with no makeup on and no filter used. I literally cannot be bothered to pretend I’m something that I’m not or piss around what snapchat filters. The free time I do have, I want to spend wisely, usually watching Tom Ellis as Lucifer!