One thing that is eye opening, is the amount of women I see and hear speaking about issues around eating. Whether that is emotional eating, binge eating, self sabotage, over restrictive/macro group dropping...and they ask for help in Facebook Groups, yet the implementation of any good advice that does appear in them, is then never actioned.
Often we think we can suss this out on our own, that we can do this ourselves and maybe start to allow the behaviours to normalise as we become so accepting of this destructive behaviours so we suffer alone and 'make do'.
However we all carry destructive behaviours or compulsions and this doesn't apply to just food and our diets. This can be:
- Biting your nails or pulling your hair in times of stress (I was a previous nail chewer)
- The over exaggerated behaviours someone elicits when angry/frustrated/upset
- Compulsive worry warriors
- never admitting when wrong in an argument, stubbornness and lack of receptiveness for someone else's opinion.
These are simply learned behaviours we acquire and reinforce over time - the more they are repeated, the stronger and more hard wired they become and often we have noone around us to help us disrupt these patterns to then begin to rewire a new behaviour.
This doesn't make us broken, a failure etc and it certainly DOES NOT affect how worthy you are, your identity nor question if you are 'enough' for someone. As when it boils down to it, these are the key components that our unconscious mind will link back to, and when it feels that pain - it will find the memory/habit of least resistance in your brain to take you to pleasure town!
There is something here to note - if we feel:
- we are not good enough
- we are not slim enough
- we are not pretty enough
- not perfect enough in any way
.... we are in a state of FIXED mindset...
We believe we are a certain way and we are stuck like this, that things will never change, life is hard on me, I never have any luck...often playing a victim in some way. We may fear change as this could mean failure, that it makes us look weak, that we aren't the perfect person we try to portray and are always battling on ALONE to try to silence the internal demons.
Having a GROWTH MINDSET - is the openness to failure as learnings and lessons, striving for growth, to improve in any way possible and evolve - after all, that is what being a human BEING is all about (not being a human DOING). Being in this place - you are able to acknowledge there are certain areas of your life that are not quite as optimised as you would like right now, AND you are open and available to seek help to progress.
During my late teens, into my 20's, I was always stubborn, I always had to be right, I feared getting anything wrong as I would dread people not liking me or thinking less of me, judging and speaking behind my back. I never felt good enough - to the extreme of starving myself, excessively exercising, bingeing and purging, time and time again. It was my dirty little secret, yet it was becoming more and more obvious. However, the more people asked me if I was ok, the more I would push people away and it would exacerbate my condition.
This resulted in years of unhealthy relationships not only with myself but people around me...I was toxic to be around in so many ways. When i left my ex fiance (which was totally the right decision I still stand by now), my life went into more chaos with my binge cycles which would now include alcohol and heavy nights out often not remembering anything that happened the night before....what a waste.
Now I am not saying to not have fun, but using alcohol and food was then my new way of numbing myself and getting people to like me. Crazy right?!
When I entered the body building circuit - this led me to finally feeling accepted to some extent...but only when I was lean. People didn't care when you reached that more 'normal body'....you were old news again, so this would send me off into binge episodes as I would try to maintain my lean physique for extended periods of time...but here's the thing - It isn't healthy, it is not normal to look that way for prolonged periods of time and diets do not serve you for a long term health relationship neither mentally or physically.
After one of two mental breakdowns which affected my career, I knew something had to give, I had to change. I invested in myself - taking any courses that would facilitate my growth, learning and understanding more about myself, hiring coaches to assist me on the road to food recovery and away from body dysmorphia.
This also isn't a fail safe approach in some instances - I have worked with a coach more recently who threw my body practically under the bus and within the last 12 months have had to do a full body reset to gain normal hormone, strength and health levels back - the difference this time...my mind was able to cope with this hiccup.
Investing in coaching can be in any area of your life, I now have mentors who assist me with business, I have an amazing health/fitness coach who is so much more receptive to my needs (of which I would advise getting a DNA test too so you truly know what's happening with your body - I will stick a link below). I have support networks of business women I work alongside, I have a business coach and also a social media specific coach.
If you are unsure of where to start to facilitate your growth and improvement when recognised in a certain area of your life that is no longer serving you - invest!
I appreciate so many of us thinking we can find out for ourselves, learn it online via youtube, ask others in forums who are not fully in the know, or jump from diet to diet in hopes that the next one will fix us....but it doesn't work. Binge eating is no different to any other behaviour we seek to fix, yet so many will continue on the path of stress, upset, disappointment and confusion when they don't get to where they want to be, either blaming 'yourself' or the external 'thing' for it not getting you there.
You must take ownership of this, if you haven't fixed it already...how much longer are you going to keep investing your time and money instead of going to someone who can get you on the path to growth SO MUCH QUICKER (that is their job). Save time, effort, money and invest in your health!
If you need direction regarding any area of health/fitness and food relationships, then please reach out. If I am not for you right now, there are others in my network I can certainly direct you towards.
- Become your own Supreme Minority -
For DNA tests visit: https://www.muhdo.com
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